I feel the earth move

At about 4:38 am I bolted straight up in my bed. My dogs started barking and everything was shaking. My first thought was that the bad weather we were supposed to get later on Friday had moved in earlier than expected and there was a tornado near. I jumped up and nearly toppled over because the floor was shaking. Huh? Did I suddenly wake up on a boat on rought seas? I got to the window, looked out and all was clear. No rain, no wind, no tornado. What the hell was going on? I staggered towards the bedroom door to get to my son, and the minute I set foot in the living room, the shaking stopped. I checked on my son, who was still sound asleep and then looked back outside. Still calm, still clear, still no tornado. Weird. I went back to bed wondering if maybe I had dreamed it all. Had I been having a bad dream? Did some weird dream carry over to my waking moments? I was so confused. Did I somehow get drunk and not know it? No, I didn't even have a glass of wine with dinner. The only thing I had indulged in was half a sleeve of Thin Mint cookies while I watched The Office. Mmmmm, Thin Mints. I love Thin Mints. So chocolatey-minty delicious. Mmmmmm....Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, I had eaten cookies. Were they spiked? You can't trust those Girl Scouts. They only have those cookies once a year. What do they put in them to make people start salivating at the mere mention of Thin Mints or Tag Alongs? Are they drugging us? Had I eaten too many, od'd and had some weird hallucenations? Effing Girl Scouts. I laid in my bed staring at the clock and trying to figure out what had happened and how I would take my revenge on those sneaky GS bitches. I remember seeing 5:56am and then I must have fallen asleep because my alarm woke me up at 6:30. I was soooooo tired and still a bit disoriented. I followed my usual morning routine where I open the shades, turn on the living room light and then the news. Imagine my surprise when I hear them talking about a rare mid-west earthquake that struck at 4:37 am 115 miles from where I live. WHAT? I literally stood stock still. I had been in an earthquake! Holy crap! There was mild damage all over the area, including cracked walls, foundations, broken windows, pictures and a few chunks of concrete that had fallen from an overpass. Weird.
I got my son up and took him to school, where the talk on the radio and around the school parking lot was all about the quake. My meeting for the day had been cancelled due to inclement weather to the north of us (I was supposed to count trees-funity, fun, fun, fun!) so I came home and watched a bit more of the news, then decided to lay back down for a while since I had had little sleep. I stretched out on the sofa, one dog curled up against me, the other sleeping on the floor right next to us. I closed my eyes and felt a soft shaking. I looked down at the dog on the floor to admonish him for scratching and shaking the sofa (this happens quite a lot actually) but realized he was sound asleep. The shaking continued and the water bottle on the coffee table suddenly toppled over. Aftershock! Both dogs woke up and were suddenly on top of me. The shaking went on and I could hear things rattling in the cabinets and 2 pictures come crashing down in my bedroom. My mind told me to cover my head (there is a sizable black and white photo of Paris hanging above the sofa and as much as I love Paris, I did not want to be knocked unconscious by it) or get to a door jam, but I had 2 *slightly* overweight dogs literally on my chest and by the time I got them off, the shaking was calming down and then came to a stop. I flipped on the TV and the news anchors were talking about it. Who knew earthquakes could cause such a shake up on the news? See what I did there? That's right, I'm funny. Get used to it.
The rest of the day I waited for more aftershocks and was not disappointed. There were 3 more that I could feel and each time I had to fight to keep from being smothered by about 40 pounds of chicken shit dogs. Oddly, each of these tremors happened while I tried to catch up on some sleep. It was a conspiracy! Someone was out to keep me from getting the rest I so desperately needed. Damn it earth, what did I do to you? I don't litter! I don't smoke! I recycle! Let me sleep!
Another negative side effect is that all damn day I've been singing that song: I feel the earth move under my feet, I feel the sky tumbling down, tumbling down....Stupid earthquake.