Fergie Rules

Transferred from myspace. Originally posted April 12, 2007

Some morning DJ was griping and moaning about many modern pop stars today and seems to have some personal beef with Fergie (of the Black Eyed Peas, not the Duchess of York). He went on and on about how she (and other pop stars) are turning teenage girls into a bunch of stupid tramps (their words, not mine). Now hold on a second! Sure, Brittany and Paris are trampy (and dillusional about their own popularity IMHO), and Christina used to be naughty, but now thinks she lives in the 1950's (and that she is black), but Fergie? Come one, she provides a valuable service. She has single handedly taught thousands of vacuous teenagers that there is something called the London Bridge (though they don't know why it wants to go down) and how to spell "delicious" and "glamorous" and her own name (she should look up tasty though, as there is no "e" in it the last time I checked). How may other current musicians can claim such loft educational additions to their music? Sure, the Bay City Rollers taught everyone in the 70's how to spell "Saturday" and Tommy Tutone helped us all to remember Jenny's phone number (867-5309eyiyine), but that was what? 25-30 years ago! Fergie is picking up the slack right now. If a girl wants to be delicious and glamourous (and really, who doesn't?) she should at least know how to spell them. Lay off Fergie morning DJ, she's making spelling cool.

Historical Note: The bridge shown in Fergie's video for "London Bridge" is actually Tower Bridge (though most people think it's London Bridge). The actual London Bridge (or at least the version built in the early 1800's) now resides in Lake Havasue, AZ. New London Bridge (built to replace Old London Bridge which was more than 600 years by 1800) could not support the weight of an early 1900's expansion nor the ever increasing traffic over the Thames River and was sinking at a rate of 1 inch every eight years. In the 1960's the City of London decided to sell New London Bridge and replace it with a more modern structure. When the bridge was dismantled, each piece was numbered and shipped to Lake Havasue where it was reassembled and is now the second biggest tourist attraction behine the Grand Canyon. Now you know.